Just wanted to share just in case someone needed to know that they aren’t alone or crazy. Please enjoy the time you have left with him. As much as I should feel the I tingling sense of sadness, despair and sorrow at its most extreme possible for someone I truly admired for so long, I wanted to cherish all the best things I remember his as great father. But i work and take care of myself. I was a divorced mom of two at one time. I cant talk to my mom because I do not think she is telling me everything and that’s sad, so I have just dealt with it everyday until I finally met a wonderful man and he listens and has helped me with this big struggle. Thank you for this article. My mum had a horrendous time with cancer and died almost two years ago in a horrible, horrible way that left me and my dad totally traumatised. Michelle Butler on May 20, 2019: My dad was a carpenter and mechanic and he drank beer, well right after he passed away I went up to the store and my car had a strong smell of saw dust and beer! I lost my father in 2011, the summer before my senior year of high school. Every day seems harder then the day before. I was out of state when I was informed that he was in the hospital. But we later found out he had poor diet and consumed large amounts of liquid which ultimately drowned his lungs. On the 1st anniversary of his death on the 26th we had his headstone fitted & we all went up there as a family. They played Jealous of the angels and I lost it. I wasn’t at home the last night he was alive, when he was in pain, for reasons I won’t go into. We had him from 8 weeks to 13 plus years. The feeling is still difficult and raw to feel what is my future going to look like without my father in pictures. Hi I hope someone can relate. It has been 20 years now and I still find it hard at times. he battled with drug addiction and mental illnesses and in 2016 he approached me, homeless and hadn’t eaten in days so i let him stay for a week but something didn’t feel right and i told him to leave. Which was my older sister and I. for a moment i thought it had worked or it was some prank. i have no one to talk to bc my foster parents hate me all because i am ” to smart for my age..” so they say. Hope this helps, I’m sure you’ll find your inner strenght soon! I wasn’t always nice but he wasn’t the nicest guy either. I lost my dad just two days ago to a brain tumor and I feel so numb. And I keep having dreams that he’s still here but then I find out he isn’t (in my dreams) and I can’t stop crying uncontrollably. However I just lost my dad. Family gatherings can be hard. He passed hours later. I lost my father 17 days ago from a brain injury. I didn’t expect to feel so much pain! I have not had a child die but I watched my brother bury his 8 year old son. I’ve only managed to visit his grave once- 4 months after his death. Just be thankful you had a parent or parents that loved you so much. I’ve actually suffered from PTSD and anxiety since my Dad passed away, hit me around 2 months after… I then fell pregnant with my first born 6 months later and found out I was carrying…a boy! Despite feeling mostly ready and even a little excited to begin this new chapter, I did still worry what others would think. It just hits you like nothing else, hang on, enjoy your life!! I gave birth late last year I could see the resemblance in my new baby girl. Today is my birthday – the very first one that she is not around to celebrate with me. I beg to God my mum will live happily for many more years because she deserves and because I am egoistical. Some days I just want to give up! My father passed away a month ago I wasn’t sure if I was the only one going through this like you I wasn’t with my father the night he passed in fact my family didn’t even tell me about until two days after and I have been holding in a-lot of regret and pain and guilt I still am I’m never going to let that go but your post helped me. I cannot escape. Kind. When my parents died there were some very good friends, great family members and lovely colleagues, all of whom rallied round. I thought she could have spent more than that. When the ambulance came they brought a chair in and the guy couldn’t put the blanket on it, they also could not believe he didn’t go to rehab, but I found out that my dad wanted to go home and that’s why they sent him home. “If I were in your position,” she offered instead, matter-of-factly, “I think I would wait six months to a year. I noticed he had been crying and he noticed I had been crying too. I will send him your article and talk him through your points. Talk about future what they’d tell their grandkids and what they’d tell you. I dont want to be miserable all my life. But he left 6 months later when he just turned 59. They tried to life-flight him late that night to one, but he was unstable. And that there is no normal way to grieve. I need him to come and stay with me for just one day. Memories are a wondeful way to remember and sometimes a painful reminder of what’s missing. My mom died when I was 13, my father when I was 24. I'm not trying to startle you. Jessica Marcellus is a NICU nurse and writer living in Fairfax, Vermont. I don’t mind it at all. My mum died in her sleep from a bleed on the brain very unexpected I was with my dad ever day after that and 4 months later when he suddenly had a massive heart attack and died after being completely healthy. The trauma of watching someone you love suffer,decline and ultimately die is like nothing I’ve ever had to go through. I miss my mum. I’m 20 years old turning 21 in a few days it’s also my father’s birthday tomorrow . I can still remember the moment my mum and I left him in the hospital that day and there were tears on his eyes that I gently wiped off. thank you so much lost my dad a week ago. God stresses the importance of fathers in our lives. My mum died 5yrs ago it killed me too but I had my dad to help get through it,but now I’m 52 but I feel like a child losing a parent. I can’t even explain it. Memories. Trying to remain positive and strong for him I am happy to do but at the same time it is so challanging trying to maintain my life as a single with no other family to lean on. To this day, I consider myself lucky, in a sense, that Dan vocalised his wish for me to find someone else after he was gone. I still mourn over the grandchildren he has never met, over the times I have so desperately needed him and he wasn’t there, over not feeling his gentle hugs, not being able to put my hand on top of his, and over not being able to just hear his voice and laugh. I lost my dad 13 days ago due to a surprise heart attack. He is the greatest man I have ever known. It’s affected me in every aspect of my life. I composed myself and went out and paid for their meal wrote that scripture on the ticket. My Dad just died today. Mum says to dad 11 at night on 21st freddies first birthday tomorrow dad say oh i thought it was soon have we got his present ready mum replies yes of course battery car all charged ready. Nobody seems to care. but what hurts the most is everything the memories, the love, the things that me and my daddy always do together(since i’m a daddy’s girl) …. It is a natural order of the world but having him ripped from us is just unfair. And when i lost him, there is no other person that entertain me like he used to. I know what she means. My husband witnessing my suffering because of my dad’s passing. I lost my Dad in November 2018. She drank too much, passed out, and choked on her own vomit. Yes, I'm an adult and can stand alone. His normal body color has now turned from a suntanned light-dark brownish white to a lightened grey.his blood had left his body as I could clearly see the ever expanding pool for underneath him come out rapidly to me.he gasped a few times then he just stopped. She had been in poor health (and attitude) for years. Everyone says he was waiting for me to tell him to go. Thank you for this article. I lost my dad last week. But they're not my parents. He was such a good, kind, generous, compassionate person. I was told that time is a great healer, but actually that hasn’t worked for me. My plate is overly full, death aside. Stupid autocorrect! Try youre best to keep all 4 sisters talking. He even has my Dad’s exact eye color. I have lost my sister, 2 brothers, my dad in 2013 and now my mother October 7 of last year. Share your joy and love with them. Prior to his diagnosis we had a rough relationship but we became best friends over the last five years, we spent hours together every day. Brad beat me to it. My dad was the only one that really understands me and gave me the best advice but I was totally blind to see how much I need him I guess what I am just trying to say is you really never get over it or people just deal with it in different ways. I’ve never felt this way. Not sure how im going to cope. I pray everyday that I live long enough to see them grow up. He didn’t give us money , kivei or guidance. Child stamping her foot, declaring, `` hello, today I been... Mom doesn ’ t try to remember through a dream my parents are dead and i miss them in other. Was only 55 and passed so dark and heavy found in her 20s... 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